Although only 1 in 9 Americans istechnically in sales, he says that the other 8 in 9 spend a ton of their time in “non-sales selling.” In fact, the research he commissioned shows that we spend around 40% (!) of our time (or 24 minutes out of every working hour!) trying to move people to do things—whether that’s pitching an idea to colleagues or trying to change someone’s behavior.
(That’s, obviously a lot. And, being good at that is, obviously, important to our professional and personal success.)
Then there’s the personal time we spend “selling”/”moving” others—from selling our kids on a philosophical idea (“mistakes are awesome!”) or your spouse on how to Optimize your nutrition (“sugar isn’t awesome!”).
In that context, he tells us we need some new ABCs of selling. As you may know, the “ABCs” of the old-school, hard-core sales approach are “Always be closing.”
That, to say the least, is not where it’s at. Now? Now, Dan says, it’s all about “Attunement + Buoyancy + Clarity.”
Check out our Notes for more. Here’s the jumbo-quick look:
Attunement is basically the ability to connect with others. We get there via three things: humility, trying to figure out what the other person is thinking (this is more effective, btw, than trying to figure out what they’refeeling) and strategically mimicking their movements and words (but doing it subtly and acting like a human being without being weird about it).
Buoyancy is actually what I want to focus on today. More on that in a moment.
Then we have Clarity. We need to be able to concisely communicate the essence of our offer—finding the 1% of what really matters while asking good questions, etc.
All that to arrive at Bouyancy.
Bouyancy is how we stay afloat in the “ocean of rejection” we all feel when we try to “sell” people on our ideas and/or products, etc. Dan offer us tips to stay buoyant before, during and after our pitch.
Before: We want to make sure our self-talk is empowering (he offers a fascinating twist here that we’ll talk about in our next +1).
During: We want to keep our positivity ratios Optimized. 1:1 isn’t going to do it. Nor will 2:1. Research shows that 3:1 is the sweet spot. (Note: 11:1 isn’t going to work either!)
After: We want to make sure our “explanatory styles” are rocking. Check out the +1 on How to Learn Optimism featuring Martin Seligman’s 3 P’s for more.
Now, we’re ready for the point of Today’s +1.
You know that positivity ratio? We want to target 3:1. Too little positivity isn’t going to work. AND (very important and!), TOO MUCH positivity isn’t going to work either.
I love the way Dan frames Barbara Fredrickson’s wisdom on this:“Fredricksonsees the healthy positivity ratios ... as a calibration between two competing pulls: levity and gravity.‘Levityis that unseen force that lifts you skyward, whereas gravity is the opposing force that pulls you earthward. Unchecked levity leaves you flighty, ungrounded, and unreal. Unchecked gravity leaves you collapsed in a heap of misery,’ she writes.‘Yetwhen properly combined, these two opposing forces leave you buoyant.’”