In our last +1, we talked about W.H. Auden’s (genius) quip that routine, in an intelligent person, is a sign of ambition. (I laugh with joy every time I type that.)
Then we did a quick check in onyour ambition. And, hopefully, we dialed it up a notch and made sure that your routines were reflecting that strong desire to Optimize and actualize in service to your family, community and world.
Today I want to talk about work and play.
A lot of people think those two things are separate.
I think you’re doing it wrong if your work ISN’T play.
Abraham Maslow would agree. He once said that one of the hallmarks of self-actualizing people is that they get to a place where “apparent dichotomies” are dissolved. InMotivation and Personality, he has a chapter in which he describes the “19 Characteristics of the Self-Actualizer.”
Check out the Notes for a super-quick look at all 19 of those self-actualizer characteristics.
For now, know this: The 19th characteristic of self-actualizers is their “Resolutionof Dichotomies.” For example, he tells us:“Thedichotomy between selfishness and unselfishness disappears altogether in healthy people because in principle every act is both selfish and unselfish.”
Another dichotomy that dissolves for self-actualizers?
The dichotomy between work and play.
What happens when work IS play? And when play IS work?
Well, then you get a statement like this from author James Michener in his autobiography:“Themaster in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him, he’salways doing both.”
That’s the way to roll.
Here’s to mastering the art of living.
Let’s have fun writing the rules to the game that is our lives and then playing it with all the joy and intensity and excellence we can muster—letting others decide whether we’re working or playing.
A couple +1s ago, while celebrating Yuval Noah Harari’s lack of a smartphone, I mentioned the fact that we don’t need to becomesmashing Luddites in response to the tsunami of technology that hammers us all day every day.
But… We ALSO want to make sure we don’t becomeaddicted users.
Thebest solution? Be anOptimizite. Let’s make thebest use of technology to sculpt thebest possible version of yourself. (Recall thatOptimize comes from the Latinoptimus which literally means “the best.”)
That’s the central theme of Conquering Digital Addiction 101—which might be my favorite master class so far.
Here’s the deal.
You know how Facebook and Instagram and Google make money?
By, essentially, hacking and then selling your attention.
They work REALLY REALLY REALLY (!!!) hard to make sure you spend MORE and MORE and MORE time on their sites and apps.
Then they SELL your attention to (literally) the highest bidder.
Now, of course, there’s nothing inherentlyevil about this per se. These companies often provide astonishingly cool and equally valuable services.
But the way they’ve set up their business model essentially REQUIRES them to, as this must-see60 Minutes exposé called “Brain Hacking” puts it: HACK your mind.
Now, we often say we watch stuff like that for “free” but, technically, we typically pay for it via xx seconds of your attention (which is sold to a sponsor who shows us their ad).
Alternatively, you can upgrade your YouTube account and NOT watch ads—which is areally compelling alternative business model thatdoesn’t require a company to focus so much on mining your attention.
Saving the bigger picture business model discussion for another time, get this: That whole economy is called the “attention economy” (and could be called the “mind-hacking economy”).
You know how much money is made hacking your mind every year?
Some researchers put the number at $7 TRILLION dollars.
S E V E N.
T R I L L I O N.
D O L L A R S.
That’s a lot of zeroes. (12 in fact.)
And… That’s alot of hacking.
And… A lot of addicted users.
Which brings us to another point of the class and of this +1. Technologists refer to their customers as “users.” You know who else refers to their customers as “users”? Drug dealers. (Hah. And d’oh.)
Seeing that our smartphones and emails and apps light up the same addiction centers of our brains as cocaine and alcohol and other drugs, it’s a fitting parallel.
It’s also why Bill Maher refers to “social media tycoons” as “tobacco farmers in t-shirts.” Only, he says, the tobacco guys only wanted your lungs. Tech titans want your SOUL.
Again. I’m NOT saying we should all go smashing our phones and computers Luddite style.
But I AM saying that you’ve gotta wonder why Steve Jobs wouldn’t even let his own kids use the iPad he was so excited about. And why so many tech execs follow his lead and RADICALLY limit their kids’ use of the very products they build.
As Adam Alter says in Irresistible:“Itseemed as if the people producing tech products were following the cardinal rule of drug dealing: never get high on your own supply. This is unsettling. Why are the world’s greatest public technocrats also its greatest private technophobes? Can you imagine the outcry if religious leaders refused to let their children practice religion?”
All of which leads us to the practical point of Today’s +1.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “Not at all! I’m 100% Optimizite, baby!” and 10 being “Oh… yikes! I’m a 10 Addicted User!” where are you on the addicted-user spectrum?
1 ----------------------------------------- 10
And… Most importantly: How can you take a step or three toward the Optimizite side of that spectrum today?
Here’s to wisely unplugging from the $7 trillion mind-hacking economy long enough to become all that we’re capable of being!
In our last +1, we talked about Professor Harari’s two world maps—onebefore The Scientific Revolution that was all filled in (including areas they knew NOTHING about) and oneafter that had plenty of empty spaces (accounting for all they things theydidn’t know).
Then we talked about YOUR maps. And, hopefully, we all added a good deal more empty space in our maps—especially that space outside our comfort zones that leads to the unknowable zone of our infinite potential.
Today I want to chat about the importance of running our own scientific experiments. Of course, admitting our ignorance is an absolutely essential first step to gaining new knowledge. But, then we’ve gotta throw on our lab coats and get to work!
Before we go there though, how about another quick little history lesson?
So, we all know that Christopher Columbus “discovered” the continent that became known
as America. But... He refused to believe it. When he landed on the Bahamas he thought he had discovered islands en route to East Asia. As Professor Harari puts it:“Hecalled the people he found there‘Indians’because he thought he had landed in the Indies—what we now call the East Indies or the Indonesian archipelago. Columbus stuck to this error for the rest of his life. The idea that he had discovered a completely unknown continent was inconceivable for him and for many of his generation.”
Then, get this: America was mistakenly named by map-maker Martin Waldseemüller who thought explorer Amerigo Vespucci discovered it. As Harari says,“Thereis poetic justice in the fact that a quarter of the world, and two of its seven continents, are named after a little-known Italian whose sole claim to fame is that he had the courage to say,‘Wedon’t know.’”
Alright. Back to the Scientific Optimizing.
Let’s throw on our lab coats and goggles and grab our clipboards. It’s time to run some experiments.
In fact, let’s follow Ralph Waldo Emerson’s wisdom and make EVERYTHING an experiment.
btw: My hunch is you’re familiar with this quote:“Alllife is an experiment. The more experiments the better.”
The full passage is even better. As Ralph says:“Donot be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little coarse and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.”
So, my dear Scientifically-Experimenting-Ignoramus-Optimizer friend: What experiments have YOU run lately?
Let’s measure our little (and big) tests as objectively as we can—making the connection between the mundane things like “When I eat that, my nose gets stuffy” and “When I’m online late at night I sleep poorly and that diminishes my energy and optimism which makes me grumpy which slows down my actualization” to... Whatever else you need to shine the light of ignorance on!
Then, of course, we need to take that data and APPLY it to our lives. As Harari points out, it’s APPLIED scientific knowledge that leads to power.
We can only gain new power by moving from *theory* to PRACTICE.
So, my dear Scientifically-Experimenting-Ignoramus-Optimizer friend: What data have you gotten from recent experiments and, most importantly, how will you apply that knowledge to your life TODAY?
Here’s to your lab coat and clipboard. And don’t forget the goggles.
Wallace D. Wattles was an old-school Philosopher-Optimizer who wrote The Science of Getting Rich. He also wrote a little book calledThe Science of Being Great. (Both of those titles are, of course, finalists for best titles ever.)
InThe Science of Being Great he has a great line that has been tattooed on my brain since I read it.
He said:“Theworld needs demonstration more than it needs instruction.”
The world needs DEMONSTRATION more than it needs INSTRUCTION.
Isn’t that a powerful statement?!
(Kinda makes you wonder what you’re demonstrating, eh?)
For example, we know that kids don’t do what they’retold ortaught, they do what they SEE. So, it’s pretty obvious we better model the behaviors we want to see in our kids if we want them to grow up to be great humans.
All of which leads us to a little personal story—one from a couple months ago that features me in a (laughably) low moment in my parenting career.
Short story: My dad cursed like a sailor. In fact, he literally WAS a sailor. (Hah.) He enlisted in the Navy when he turned 18 and his language was justastonishingly bad. (So bad he’d literally make my devout Catholic mom cry at times. I can laugh now but it wasn’t funny then.)
Anyway… I rarely curse and I’ve been committed tonever cursing in front of the kids. So, I was particularly appalled at myself (laughing) when, on an evening when I was particularly tired and Emerson was acting particularly like a (tired) 5 year old, I got so annoyed by the meditation cushion (oh, the irony!) he dropped on my face when I wasn’t looking as I was laying on the ground playing with Eleanor that I got up, walked out of the room and mumbled in a voice considerably louder than I intended: “You’re such a little sh*t!”
What happened next?
Well, he was at the door and IMMEDIATELY said, “No! YOU’RE such a little s*it!”
Again, I can laugh as I type this as a) It’s been awhile and b) He had no idea what the word was and hasn’t repeated it since and c) I got some serious mileage on the "Needs Work!” front but…
It was a really powerful opportunity for me to remember that the world needs DEMONSTRATION more than it needs INSTRUCTION.
All of which leads us to Today’s +1.
What are you demonstrating?
Any behaviors that make you wince that you’d like to clean up and throw out?
Walking is awesome. In fact, it’s so old-school epically awesome in helping thinkers think that our ancient friends even had a Latin phrase to capture its power:Solvitur ambulando. <- "It is solved by walking.”
Nietzsche would agree. He said:“Alltruly great thoughts are conceived by walking.”
Kierkegaard would agree. He put it this way:“Ihave walked myself into my best thoughts.”
Then we have Immanuel Kant. He was so consistent with his daily walks that his neighbors could set their clocks to the time he passed their houses. (They even named a street after him called “Philosopher’s Walk.”)
Then we have Charles Darwin. For nearly FORTY years he followed his schedule with “clockwork” precision. And, you know what made it on the schedule every day? His walk. He was so committed to it that he actually leased his neighbor’s land just so he could do a complete loop on what became known as Sandwalk (although he preferred to call it his “thinking path”).
Then there’s Aristotle. He and his followers walked so much as they thought and taught and philosophized that they were known as the “peripatetics”—which literally means “walking up and down.”
Of course, modern scientists have proven just how powerful walking is for creativity. (Especially in nature!)
So, yah. Ancient and modern philosophers agree: Walking is pretty powerful.
But, pop quiz!
You know what NONE of those philosophers had on their deep-thinking walks?
Of course, none of them lived in a world with such a nonstop tsunami of digital distractions but I can assure you that no self-respecting, deep-thinking lover of wisdom would bring a device that would subject them to OTHER people’s thoughts on a walk intended to tap into THEIR own thoughts.
… How about you?
Go for a walk. (Ideally somewhere easy to get to yet beautiful.)
And leave your smartphone at home. (Or in the car/whatever.)
In our last +1, we talked about the fact that batting .300 over the course of your Major League Baseball career gets you in the Hall of Fame.
Today we’re going to continue the baseball metaphor.
Pop quiz for baseball fans: You know how many perfect games have EVER been thrown?!
(For those who may not know, a perfect game is defined by Major League Baseball (via Wikipedia) as “a game in which a pitcher (or combination of pitchers) pitches for a victory [in a game] that lasts a minimum of nine innings in which no opposing player reaches base.”)
So… Get this: According to Wikipedia, Major League Baseball has been around for 140 years. Over 210,000 (!) games have been played. And only23 (!) perfect games have ever been pitched. And… No player has ever thrown more thanone perfect game.
140 years. 210,000 (!) games. Only 23 perfect games.
And NO pitcher hasever done it twice.
Yet you and I want to have perfect lives. (Hahahahahhaha!)
I’m also reminded of John Wooden. He was all about GOING for perfection but only doing so KNOWING we’ll neveractually get it!
Here’s how he puts it:“Perfectionis what you are striving for, but perfection is an impossibility. However, strivingfor perfection is not an impossibility. Do the best you can under the conditions that exist. That is what counts.”
(Sounds a lot like our Guiding Stars and Distant Shores, eh?)
You know what else Wooden said? This:“Whenyou improve a little each day, eventually big things occur. When you improve conditioning a little each day, eventually you have a big improvement in conditioning. Not tomorrow, not the next day, but eventually a big gain is made. Don’t look for the big, quick improvement. Seek thesmall improvement one day at a time. That’s the only way it happens—and when it happens, it lasts.”
(Sounds a lot like our Optimize +1s, eh?)
And, one more Wooden gem (all of these are from his book calledWooden, btw):“DidI win? Did I lose? Those are the wrong questions. The correct question is: Did I make my best effort? That’s what matters. The rest of it just gets in the way.”
Let’s make our best effort.
Let’s“seekthe small improvement one day at a time. That’s the only way it happens—and when it happens, it lasts.”
In our last +1, we talked about the science of daydreaming. Quick recap: Stay out of the “poor attention control” and “guilty-dysphoric” realms and in the “positive-constructive” mode.
Here’s another way to think about it. (Thanks again to Manoush Zomorodi!)
When your mind is wandering and you’re kinda randomly thinking about your life, do you imagine yourself as the CONQUERING HERO of your own story (positive-constructive!) or the SUFFERING MARTYR (guilty-dysphoric) of the story?
It’s a big distinction.
We want to get REALLY (!) good at noticing when we’re falling into the “woe is me” helpless Victim orientation and SHIFT it into the “Let’s do this!!” Creator orientation.
Well, again, what do you think we’re doing with all these +1s?
I’m basically trying to give you a super-stocked toolshed/armory of tools and weapons and tips and tricks and hacks you can use THE MOMENT you find yourself losing your connection from the best version of yourself.
It all starts with mastering our fundamentals: eat! move! sleep!(Ever notice how the martyr shows up a LOT more when you’re TIRED? Me, too. That’s why Vince Lombardi says that“Fatiguemakes cowards of us all.”)
Let’s actually keep things simple and focus there today.
Do you know your #1 Self-Care Habit?
Is it eating well? Exercising? Sleeping? Meditating? Doing deep work? Helping others? …? …?
What’s the thing that, if you DON’T do it, pretty much guarantees a sub-optimal day? (For me it is, unquestionably, getting a good night of sleep.)
This is my #1 Self-Care Habit: ______________.
This is the #1 thing I can do to Optimize it Today: ________________.
That is all.
Here’s to doing the things that help the Conquering Hero show up more and more consistently.
And, here’s to stepping back and looking at the fundamentals whenever we get a little Whiney-Martyr wobbly!
In our last couple +1s, we’ve talked about your breathing. If you haven’t checked out the full Optimal Breathing 101 master class yet, you might dig it.
For now, how about a quick look at the THREE simple rules of optimal breathing?
Here they are:
Breathe through yournose
Andexhale slightly longer than you inhaled
1 + 2 + 3 = Magic.
How about a quick inventory then a closer look?
First, the quick inventory:
You breathing through yournose? (Most people don’t. Go look around and/or in the mirror. Do you see a mouth gaping open?)
Do you breathe deeply (yet calmly) into yourbelly? (Most people don’t—especially if you breathe through your mouth!)
And, is yourexhale slightly longer than your inhale? (This is the fastest way to relax!)
Now, for the closer look:
Rule#1. Breathe Through Your Nose(EXCLUSIVELY!)
When? All day. Every day. (Including while sleeping and training.)
Why? Well, check out the class for a full description (and/or the Notes onThe Oxygen Advantage, etc.) but here’s the basic idea.
First: Your nose filters, humidifies and conditions air in ways your mouth simply can’t.
Second: Know that we NEVER used to breathe through our mouths except forthe most extreme instances of physical exertion. (Think: Lion chasing you.)
Third: When you breathe through your mouth, you tend to “overbreathe” via short, shallow, fast breaths that disrupt the oxygen to carbon dioxide levels in your body. Although it might sound weird, it’s the CARBON DIOXIDE that actually gets the oxygen out of your red blood cells and into your tissues and organs and you need to slow down your breathing (via your nose!) to get the CO2 right and, as a result, the O2 where you want it.
Rule #2. Breathe into Your Belly
Fill up the lower part of your lungs. Flex your most underappreciated and underutilized muscle in your body. Get your diaphragm rocking!!
Note: Don’t take “big” breaths via your mouth into your chest. Take nice, mellow, quiet, DEEP breaths into your belly. Repeat. All day. Every day.
Rule #3. Exhale Slightly Longer than You Inhale.
This is the fastest way to flip the flip the vagal switch and turn on your parasympathetic nervous system and R E L A X.
Whenever you think about it: Exhale longer than you inhale. (Finish strong as we like to say at the Johnson house!)
Squeeze your diaphragm. Get all that air out. Why? Well, did you know that breathing is responsible for 70% (!!!) of your body’s detoxification? Elimination and sweat only take care of 30%. (Kinda surprising, eh?)
But, guess what? If you’re not breathing right, you’re not detoxifying fully. And, of course, you’re not fueling your cells properly.
Enter: Compromised vitality and increased potential of getting all the things you don’t want.
Therefore: Nose. Belly. Exhale.
Practice. Practice. Practice.
How about a nice, deep, calm breath. In through your nose… Down into your belly… Out through your nose with a nice, long exhale.
Since our time with George Leonard exploring his ideas onMastery, I’ve been thinking about him a lot.
I realized that I forgot to share another one of my favorite Ideas from his great little book that has most changed my life.
It’s super simple but equally powerful.
First, the context.
In a section on getting energy for mastery, George tells us:“Ahuman being is the kind of machine that wears out from lack of use. There are limits, of course, and we do need healthful rest and relaxation, but for the most part we gain energy by using energy... It might well be that all of us possess enormous stores of potential energy, more than we could ever hope to use.”
Of course, as we discuss often, we need to remember to oscillate and train our recovery, etc. but we’ve also gotta know that human beings GAIN energy byUSING energy. We’re the kind of machine that wears out from LACK of use.
Which reminds me of super-energized Leonardo da Vinci’s wisdom:“Ironrusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. Sowe must stretch ourselves to the very limits of human possibility. Anything less is a sin against both God and man.”
(Cue choir of angels on this one:”Sowe must stretch ourselves to the very limits of human possibility. Anything less is a sin against both God and man.”)
George offers a few tips on how to Optimize our energy for mastery.
One of them is to set priorities and make decisions. He tells us:“Indecisionleads to inaction, which leads to low energy, depression, despair.”
Another tip is to get on the path of mastery and STAY ON IT. He says:“Muchof the world’s depression and discontent... can ultimately be traced to our unused energy, our untapped potential.”
All of which leads us to two questions and then the point of Today’s +1.
Question #1: Got any decisions you need to make?
Question #2: Are you using your potential?!
And, now to the main event: As an Aikido master, George tells us:“It’sinstructive to watch the immediate surge of clarity and energy during training that comes from the simplest act of writing one’s name on a notice.”
I don’t know about you, but after I’ve putmy “name on a notice” (aka signed up for a Spartan Trifecta for the year including a 13+ mile race up and down ski slopes at elevation with bonus energy points for racing with the elite age group guys), my energy and clarity and intensity of (and consistency of!) training IMMEDIATELY shifts.
How about YOU?
Has that ever happened to you in the past?
And, most importantly: Got any sign-up forms waiting for you?
Yah? What makes you smile (and maybe makes your heart skip a beat) just imagining doing it?
A 5k? A triathlon? A Spartan Race? Getting your black belt?
What’ll it be?
That’s Today’s +1. If you’re feeling so inspired, go put your name on a notice. Watch the immediate surge of clarity and energy during your training.
Continuing our good times with Confucius, here’s one of the gems from hisAnalects that has tattooed itself on my brain since I read it a decade ago.
“The Master said, He does not mind not being in office; all he minds about is whether he has qualities that entitle him to office. He does not mind failing to get recognition; he is too busy doing the things that entitle him to recognition.”
How great is THAT?
Would you like a little more recognition than you’re getting?
OK. That’s fine.
Now take a deep breath and get back to work doing whatever it is you think will EARN you that recognition.
Repeat that process whenever the desire for (more) recognition arises.
That’s Today’s +1.
Well, that and this passage from James Allen’sAs a Man Thinketh—which is also tattooed to my brain along with big chunks of that entire essay.
Imagine working tirelessly and then, one day, things just shift.
Here’s how Allen poetically puts it:“Andyou, too, youthful reader, will realize the Vision(notthe idle wish) of your heart, be it base or beautiful, or a mixture of both, for you will always gravitate toward that which you secretly most love. Into your hands will be placed the exact results of your own thoughts; you will receive that which you earn; no more, no less. Whatever your present environment may be, you will fall, remain, or rise with your thoughts, your Vision, your Ideal.
You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration: in the beautiful words of Stanton Kirkham Davis,‘Youmay be keeping accounts, and presently you shall walk out of the door that for so long has seemed to you the barrier of your ideals, and shall find yourself before an audience - the pen still behind your ear, the ink stains on your fingers - and then and there shall pour out the torrent of your inspiration. You may be driving sheep, and you shall wander to the city - bucolic and open mouthed; shall wander under the intrepid guidance of the spirit into the studio of the master, and after a time he shall say,'Ihave nothing more to teach you.' And now you have become the master, who did so recently dream of great things while driving sheep. You shall lay down the saw and the plane to take upon yourself the regeneration of the world.’”
Here’s to the ink stains on your fingers when the curtains rise and the world applauds and you say, “Did I win?”
So… The Olympic Games started in Olympia (not too far outside of Athens) in 776 BC.
A few centuries later, Aristotle told us that you can’t just SHOW UP at the Olympics andlook like a great athlete, you have to actually COMPETE.
Here’s how he puts it:“Justas at the Olympic Games it is not the best-looking or the strongest men present that are crowned with wreaths, but the competitors(becauseit is from them that the winners come), so it is those who act that rightly win the honours and rewards in life.”
To recap his point: You can’t just KNOW how to live virtuously. You need to actually LIVE with virtue.
I repeat:Theory is rudimentary philosophy.Practice is the advanced work.
And, I’m reminded of Donald Robertson’s genius wisdom on the difference between being a warrior of the mind and a mere librarian of the mind.
As we’ve discussed, inThe Philosophy of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy he tells us:“Theancients conceived of the ideal philosopher as a veritable warrior of the mind, a spiritual hero akin to Hercules himself, but since the demise of the Hellenistic schools, the philosopher has become something more bookish, not a warrior, but a mere librarian of the mind.”
Is there a “theory” you need to make a “practice”?
Yah? Which one? And how will you bring it to life today?!
Here’s to leaving the library and heading into the Olympic arena that is our lives.
In our last +1, we talked about Aristotle’sNicomachean Ethics and the fact thathis word for “happiness” was VERY different thanour word.
Eudaimonia, as we discussed, literally means “good soul” and implies a powerful sense of actualizing our potential—succeeding in expressing the best within ourselves.
Today we’re going to focus on HOW Aristotle teaches us to create THAT type of “happiness.”
Pop quiz: Can you guess?
Pop answer: In a word: Virtue.
In a Greek word:Areté.
Aristotle tells us that the ONLY way to have a “good soul” and experience the deepest sense of well-being and happiness is to, essentially, express the best version of yourself moment to moment to moment. To live with virtue.
Here’s how he puts it: “Butwhat is happiness? If we consider what the function of man is, we find that happiness is avirtuous activity of the soul.”
“Virtuous activity of the soul.”
Wow. Isn’t that BEAUTIFUL.
“Virtuous activity of the soul.”
Just for a moment… Imagine a culture in which our sense of happiness was grounded in a commitment to “virtuous activity of the soul.”
Then imagine YOUR life in which your happiness was connected to the virtuous activity of your soul.
What’s that mean?
We’ll talk more about how to hit that target via Aristotle’s Doctrine of the Mean tomorrow.
For now: At a choice point today, just ask yourself, “What would my soul like me to do right now? What would ‘virtuous activity’ of the best within me look like?’”
Then, of course, have fun high-fiving your inner soul as you rock it.
In our last +1, we talked about the fact that 25 minutes every day = 2 YEARS of your life.
Did you figure out how you’re wasting time and make some progress eliminating that time wasting activity?
If so, high fives.
If not, here’s a tip.
InBored and Brilliant, Manoush Zomorodi gives people a 7-Day Challenge to invite more boredom and more brilliance into their lives. Challenge #4 is pretty epic. It’s the fastest way to add two years back to our lives.
Here’s how she puts it:“Yourinstructions for today: Delete it.Delete *that* app. ... You know which one is your albatross. The one you use too much. The one you use to escape—too often, at the expense of other things(includingsleep). The one that makes you feel bad about yourself. Delete said time-wasting, bad-habit app. Uninstall it.”
Yep. THAT app.
Which one is it?
Want two years of your life back?
Delete it. Now.
I know it’s going to hurt but so is you looking back on your life from your deathbed and wondering why you squandered so much precious time and didn’t go ALL IN on living your greatest life so…
Jim Rohn’s wisdom comes to mind:“Wewill all experience one pain or the other—the pain of discipline or the pain of regret—but the difference is that thepain of discipline weighs only ounces while the pain of regret weighs tons.”
Let’s pay in ounces. Delete THAT app.
(NOW! Seriously. You’re the Boss, but let’s do this!!)
George Leonard was an aikido master who wrote a great little book calledMastery.
It’s a tiny little book packed with a ton of wisdom. I highly recommend it.
There’s one particular passage that’s been tattooed on my mind since I read it over a decade ago. We’re going to talk about that tomorrow. Today, we’re going to take a quick look at how Leonard describes mastery and the other paths that can trip us up.
First, pop quiz! When you think of the path of Mastery and the Master who walks that path, what vision comes to mind? How would YOU describe it?
Take a moment and noodle that.
Here’s how Leonard describes mastery. He tells us that“Wefail to realize that mastery is not about perfection. It’s about aprocess, a journey. The master is the one who stays on the path day after day, year after year. The master is the one who is willing to try, and fail, and try again, for as long as he or she lives.”
That’s mastery. It’s a PROCESS.
When we commit to the path of mastery we stay on that path day in and day out. YEAR after YEAR. (Reminds me of Steven Pressfield’s wisdom aboutTurning Pro—and how your life changes the day you truly flip the switch and go from amateur to Professional.)
The alternatives to Mastery? Well, Leonard tells us we can be what he calls a “Dabbler” or a “Hacker” or an “Obsessive."
Here’s the quick look.
The Dabbler: Gets really into something for awhile and loves the quick results but the moment the newness fades, he or she’s off to the next new thing—rationalizing that it just wasn’t a good fit. Hence, no mastery.
The Obsessive: A bottom-line type of person who wants to get the tennis stroke right on the first lesson and, when results start to slow, pushes even harder to make it work, ignoring the fact that plateaus are part of the path of mastery—pushing and pushing mercilessly to create a continuing upward curve. Then? Injury/burnout/etc. Followed by a sharp, sharp decline. Hence, no mastery.
The Hacker: After sort of getting the hang of something, the hacker is content to stay at a plateau—never really improving his skills beyond the first basic level. Hacking, hacking, hacking. Hence, no mastery.
TheMaster. TheDabbler. TheObsessive. TheHacker.
How areyou showing up these days?
Now… I was going to ask you how you think you can bring a little more mastery to your life but then I realized I should probably give you Leonard’s #1 tip first.
Here it is:“Howdo you best move toward mastery? To put it simply, you practice diligently, but you practice primarily for the sake of the practice itself.”
Aha! Practice. Again.
So… Today’s +1.
What’s the most important thing in your life right now?
And… What’s your DAILY (!) PRACTICE to Optimize that thing or the Big 3 things?
Energy = AM Trail (Inever miss a day = my commitment to the practice/mastery)
Work = AM Deep Work (Again, I (literally) never miss a day = my commitment to the practice/mastery)
Love = AM Kid Time (I too often miss a day here! lol. Although my shut-down complete is pretty legit this still needs work and is being reinstalled!)
Energy = __________________
Work = __________________
Love = __________________
Here’s to your Mastery and the simple practices that keep us on the path!
In our last +1, we talked about Rule #1 of Nutrition. You remember what it was?
Basic idea: It’s not what youstart eating that has the most positive impact. It’s what you STOP eating. There aren’t any Fountains of Youth in nature; there ARE poisons. And, you can’t eat enough broccoli to make up for all that pizza.
(So, what did you eliminate?)
Although I did share his high-level perspective, I didn’t share John Durant’s perspective on what he thinks we should remove as I wanted to make his general advice apply whether you’re Paleo or Vegan or Pegan or whatever.
Today we’re going to look at his top recs at what qualifies as “poison” and should, therefore, be removed.
*** Note: I share this with a respectful tip ‘o the hat to the Grain Lovers out there. ***
John tells us (and, of course, many others who share his perspective echo this):“Topon this list[ofpoisons] areindustrial foods(sugar,vegetable oils) as well as the seed-based crops they’re made out of(cerealgrains, legumes). Think of these as slow-acting poisons when consumed in large quantities.”
Very few people are going to argue that sugar is good for us. (And certainly not in the quantities in which we consume it today: 150+ lbs per person per year. The fact that we can consume more sugar in one meal than our ancestors would consume in an entire year = not good.)
Then we have veggie oils. We’ve talked about it before, but they’re not good for inflammation.
(Although, when I was in the hospital waiting room while my brother had his surgery, for some odd reason Dr. Oz dedicated his show to trying to convince us that corn oil is awesome. Hah. We’ll save that for another chat.)
Then we have grains and legumes. If you fall into the Paleo-esque camp, you won’t have a tough time agreeing with the statement that we can”Thinkof these as slow-acting poisons when consumed in large quantities.”
If you enjoy grains and legumes and your digestion and health are perfect then congrats!
If you enjoy those foods and your health and digestion can use some Optimizing, you might want to experiment with a little elimination!
As per the Hartwigs inIt Starts with Food (their Whole360 program was super-helpful years ago after my decade-long low-fat-vegan stint):“Themarketing from big cereal companies would have you think that cereal grains are highly nutritious—and that if you don’t eat them, you’ll miss out on all sorts of vitamins, minerals, and fiber that you can get only from grains. That’s simply not true. Grains are not(werepeat, not) nutrient-dense when compared with vegetables and fruit.”
Plus:“Anotherway that a diet high in grains leads to suboptimal nutrition is in terms of opportunity cost: If there are more whole grains on your plate, then there’s probably less of some other food—like vegetables—on your plate. And that lowers the overall micronutrient density in your diet too. In summary:There is not a single health-promoting substance present in grains that you can’t also get from vegetables and fruit.”
I laugh as I type this given the near-religious fervor with which people approach their nutrition.
Again, YOU’re the Boss.
Given your nutritional philosophy, are there any foods that you think you might to eliminate?
Nathaniel Branden was a fascinating guy. As a teenager he wrote a fan letter to Ayn Rand—which she ignored. Then he wrote another letter a little later which led to an intimate relationship and collaboration.
We’ll save the details of that relationship for another discussion. For now, let’s look at some wisdom fromThe Six Pillars of Self-Esteem where Nathaniel tells us about a little self-awareness exercise called “sentence completion.”
Here’s how he puts it:“Sentence-completionwork is a deceptively simple yet uniquely powerful tool for raising self-understanding, self-esteem, and personal effectiveness. It rests on the premise that all of us have more knowledge than we normally are aware of—more wisdom than we use, more potentials than typically show up in our behavior. Sentence completion is a tool for accessing and activating these‘hiddenresources.’”
How’s it work?
Take a sentence stem (like:“Livingconsciously to me means...”) and create 6-10 completions of that sentence. Only rule is that each ending needs to create a grammatical sentence. Write quickly, don’t stop to “think” and, as Nathaniel says:“Anyending is fine, just keep going.”
Let’s try it out on this sentence stem:
If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my activities today…
That’s Today’s +1.
Here’s to tapping into the wisdom that’s always right there waiting for us!
We’ve talked about how exercise is kinda like taking a little bit of Ritalin and a little bit of Prozac, but somehow we’ve gotten this far into our +1 series without talking about the fact that exercise is as effective as Zoloft in reducing depression.
InThe How of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirksy walks us through a little experiment.
Bring clinically depressed individuals into a lab. Split them into three groups. The first group is assigned to four months of aerobic exercise while the second group gets an antidepressant medication (in this case Zoloft) and the third group gets both.
The exercise group does three, forty-five minute sessions per week of cycling or walking/jogging at a moderate to high intensity.
Fast-forward four months.
As Sonja says:"Remarkably,by the end of the four-month intervention period, all three groups had experienced their depressions lift and reported fewer dysfunctional attitudes and increased happiness and self-esteem. Aerobic exercise was just as effective at treating depression as was Zoloft, or as a combination of exercise and Zoloft. Yet exercise is a lot less expensive, usually with no side effects apart from soreness. Perhaps even more remarkably, six months later, participants who had‘remitted’(recovered)from their depressions were less likely to relapse if they had been in the exercise group(sixmonths ago!) than if they had been in the medication group.”
She continues by saying:“Noone in our society needs to be told that exercise is good for us. Whether you are overweight or have a chronic illness or are a slim couch potato, you’ve probably heard or read this dictum countless times throughout your life. But has anyone told you— indeed, guaranteed you—that regular physical activity will make you happier? I swear by it.”
Any time one of the leading, conservative scientists in the fieldguarantees (!) ANYTHING I sit up straight and pay attention.
And, in this case, I put on my shoes and hit the trail.
In Self-Image 101, we talked about how to create the most heroically awesome version of yourself by integrating the “Optimus” you and the “en*theos” you into the “Hērōs” you.
We also talked aboutOther Image 101—aka: How do you see OTHERS?
Walt Whitman helped us out with this idea.
He once said:“Inthe faces of men and women, I see God.”
Which begs the question: When you look in the faces of men and women, what do YOU see?
That’s actually Today’s +1.
When you’re out and about today (and, perhaps even more importantly: when you’re in and hanging out with your family today!), take a moment to step back and SEE the absolute best, most divinely awesome essence of the people with whom you’re interacting.
And, remember: It’s hard to see in others what we’re not seeing in ourselves.
Let’s make sure the first person in whom we see God this morning is that person looking back at us in the mirror.
Here’s to bowing to the divine within yourself and to the divine within all those you meet today!
Here's another little gem from Dan Pink’sTo Sell Is Human. (The man is a brilliant writer and a treasure-trove of goodness.)
He tells us that, according to research from McKinsey:“thetypical American hears or reads morethan one hundred thousand words every day.”
Think about that for a moment.
100,000 words. EVERY DAY.
When I think about that, I immediately think of a few things: A Lion, a King, and a Monk.
Specifically, I think about Alberto Villoldo’s wisdom that we are now exposed to more stimuli in ONE WEEK than our ancient ancestors were exposed to in their ENTIRE LIFETIMES.
As he says, we evolved to deal withone lion roaring at us at a time. Now, with 24/7/365-global news, it’s as if theentire jungle is roaring at us all day every day. (Which, btw, is one of the reasons why obsessive news and talk show consumption is correlated with anxiety, depression, etc.)
(Another btw: Here’s a crazy stat from Nasha Winters inThe Metabolic Approach to Cancer. She tells us:“Wecan slug down more sugar in thirty minutes than our ancestors would consume in an entire year.” <- Yikes. And we wonder why we're all so sick…)
That’s our Lion. (Side note: Emerson and I just readThe Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and are now working our way through theChronicles of Narnia. Love it.)
Then there’s our King. Stephen King to be precise.
InOn Writing, King says that the hardest part of his creative journey was when he was a full-time high school teacher trying to make it as a writer. Although he loved the kids, at the end of the week he felt like his brain had been attached to jumper cables (!) and it was REALLY hard to simmer down and write anything worth reading.
Then there’s our Monk: Thich Nhat Hanh.
He tells us that everything we are exposed to is a “nutriment” that needs to be “digested.” Those 100,000 words we hear and read every day? Your brain has to process them and digest them just like all the food you eat (and that sugar you might be consuming!).
All of that to say…
To put it very directly: If you’re the “typical” American, jamming your consciousness so full of words (and stimulation) all day every day, you probably have a VERY hard time ever coming up with an original thought. (Laughing. Sorry to break the news…)
At least that’s MY experience when I open the tap a bit too much to news—I find myself waking up in the morning thinking about what’s going on in the world vs. what I want to CREATE in the world.
Of course, as with everything, there’s a balance.
btw: This is also why I very rarely have any music on (and never any talk shows) when I’m driving (that’s my silent time to decompress and think and integrate!) and why I NEVER (!!!) bring any technology with me when I’m in nature hiking (that’s my silent time to decompress and think and integrate!).
Again, we all need to find our path and our optimal balance.
To the extent we’re committed to being more CREATIVE than REACTIVE, I say we trim that 100,0000-word count down and remember Mark Twain’s quip that anytime he finds himself on the side of the majority, it’s time to pause and reflect. And, of course, there’s Krishnamurti’s genius line that being well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society is no measure of health.
Let’s break away from the noise and make some noise in the world!
Yesterday we reviewed our Motivation Equation. I hope you took the time to hang out with your #1 Wildly Important Goal and run it through the little magical formula.
And, if not: Pardon the soapbox moment but… Um… Well, hmmmm…
We can’t incrementally crush it together if we’re not actually PRACTICING these ideas on a consistent (read: daily!) basis.
We’ve gotta move from THEORY to PRACTICE and there’s only ONE way to do that…
Ahem. I am now stepping off the soapbox.
Today we shall review another super powerful not-so-secret weapon:WOOP!
As I mentioned in our last +1, we’re currently working on a big project. As such, I’m employing all the best stuff I know to rock it.
And, it’s now officially I M P O S S I B L E for me tonot WOOP something I really care about.
I mean, recall that science shows just how powerful this little practice can be in making our dreams a reality so…
The key? Once again: Start with a vision of your ideal. That’s yourWISH. Know theOUTCOMES you think you’ll experience—akawhy you’re fired up. Then… Rub that vision up against reality by seeing theOBSTACLES you might face then create aPLAN to deal with it. Voila! You’ve created a “necessity to act” and you’ve increased your odds of success.
Let’s revisit your #1 Wildly Important Goal. (Note: Number ONE. Not ten. Or five. Or even two or three. ONE.)
Bust out a blank piece of paper or use our Worksheet. Let’s run through theWOOP! process.
What’s yourWISH? If everything went perfectly, what, specifically, would you see in your life? (Awesome.)
What’s yourOUTCOME? In other words, WHY are you fired up about achieving this? What benefits will you achieve? (Awesome.)
WhatOBSTACLES do you think you might face? Yep. That one. And that one. Don’t forget that one. (Awesome.)
What’s yourPLAN?! What will you do to go over and under and through those inevitable obstacles? OMMS!! (Awesome.)
One of the themes we come back to again and again is the basic idea of loving what is — whether that’s via Byron Katie’s wisdom or the Stoics or the Serenity Prayer.
Here’s another take on it that I’ve found super helpful.
Vernon Howard tells us:“Ifyour grand purpose in life is to wake up, then whatever happens to you is good, for it can prod you into self-awakening.”
And, he says:“Ifit takes apparent misfortune to turn us into true philosophers and doers of good to receive good, thenapparent misfortune is our greatest fortune.”
Well that’s one way to look at it, eh?
Indeed it is. A very powerful way.
What’s your GRAND purpose? The ultimate big ol’ purpose of your existence?
In short: To actualize my potential. In service to the world. While enjoying the process.
Now, with THAT goal in mind, I can bring Vernon’s wisdom to mind and alchemize pretty much E V E R Y T H I N G into great fortune. From the mundane issues with the kids or the biz to the bigger challenges in life.
It’s ALL antifragile fuel for the fire of actualization.
All of it.
So, again… What’s your grand purpose?
Get clear on it. Thenmake the connection between your response tothis moment andthat target.
Let’s use E V E R Y T H I N G as fuel for our growth.
That’s how to turn apparent misfortune into great fortune.
Although only 1 in 9 Americans istechnically in sales, he says that the other 8 in 9 spend a ton of their time in “non-sales selling.” In fact, the research he commissioned shows that we spend around 40% (!) of our time (or 24 minutes out of every working hour!) trying to move people to do things—whether that’s pitching an idea to colleagues or trying to change someone’s behavior.
(That’s, obviously a lot. And, being good at that is, obviously, important to our professional and personal success.)
Then there’s the personal time we spend “selling”/”moving” others—from selling our kids on a philosophical idea (“mistakes are awesome!”) or your spouse on how to Optimize your nutrition (“sugar isn’t awesome!”).
In that context, he tells us we need some new ABCs of selling. As you may know, the “ABCs” of the old-school, hard-core sales approach are “Always be closing.”
That, to say the least, is not where it’s at. Now? Now, Dan says, it’s all about “Attunement + Buoyancy + Clarity.”
Check out our Notes for more. Here’s the jumbo-quick look:
Attunement is basically the ability to connect with others. We get there via three things: humility, trying to figure out what the other person is thinking (this is more effective, btw, than trying to figure out what they’refeeling) and strategically mimicking their movements and words (but doing it subtly and acting like a human being without being weird about it).
Buoyancy is actually what I want to focus on today. More on that in a moment.
Then we have Clarity. We need to be able to concisely communicate the essence of our offer—finding the 1% of what really matters while asking good questions, etc.
All that to arrive at Bouyancy.
Bouyancy is how we stay afloat in the “ocean of rejection” we all feel when we try to “sell” people on our ideas and/or products, etc. Dan offer us tips to stay buoyant before, during and after our pitch.
Before: We want to make sure our self-talk is empowering (he offers a fascinating twist here that we’ll talk about in our next +1).
During: We want to keep our positivity ratios Optimized. 1:1 isn’t going to do it. Nor will 2:1. Research shows that 3:1 is the sweet spot. (Note: 11:1 isn’t going to work either!)
After: We want to make sure our “explanatory styles” are rocking. Check out the +1 on How to Learn Optimism featuring Martin Seligman’s 3 P’s for more.
Now, we’re ready for the point of Today’s +1.
You know that positivity ratio? We want to target 3:1. Too little positivity isn’t going to work. AND (very important and!), TOO MUCH positivity isn’t going to work either.
I love the way Dan frames Barbara Fredrickson’s wisdom on this:“Fredricksonsees the healthy positivity ratios ... as a calibration between two competing pulls: levity and gravity.‘Levityis that unseen force that lifts you skyward, whereas gravity is the opposing force that pulls you earthward. Unchecked levity leaves you flighty, ungrounded, and unreal. Unchecked gravity leaves you collapsed in a heap of misery,’ she writes.‘Yetwhen properly combined, these two opposing forces leave you buoyant.’”